To the tree that fell on our house,
You have always been a good tree. I've enjoyed your shade from my living room windows. You fell so gracefully, just missing our fence...actually straddling our fence. For that I'd like to offer thanks. I'd also like to offer thanks to you for not coming through our roof and into my youngest child's bedroom, while we all slept so soundly. Nice job. However, I do have a few bones to pick with you...
#1--Our roof?!? It is only seven years old and now our insurance company will only replace the back half. Will it match?!? Well, according to the adjuster we just don't know. In his words, "It'll be close." Close?!? I just bought that roof and it matched perfectly. It was fine and lovely before you fell on it. Thanks a lot.
#2--My living room?!? I'm going to have to repaint it. I actually like the color of my living room. Could you not have fallen on the kitchen or master bedroom? I've really been wanting to paint those rooms. I'm tired of the green. Really, one of those rooms would have been better. Which leads me to my next topic for discussion...
Suggestions to the next tree that falls on my house:
-Land on my circa 2001 desk top computer. I'd like a new one. And while you're at it take the printer as well.
-Don't just drip water through the ceiling, let it pour...on my living room carpet. The carpet needs to go.
-Bust a window or two or twelve. They are from the 1970's and gross.
-Hit my circa 1998 television. I think it is the only one left of its generation. It would like to go to tv heaven with all its other family. Put it out of its misery.
-Take out the sliding glass door in my living room. There is no word other than "yuck" for it.
Again, thanks so much for protecting the family you so lovingly provided shade to for the past seven years. You were one of my favorite trees. Every time I look at the sad little stump I'll think of you. You will be missed on Nance Circle. Please pass on my suggestions to the next tree.
Love and many thanks,